Even when you’re here, you’re not

A little over a month ago, my daughter said the above words to me.  At first I was surprised and couldn’t possibly imagine what she meant by them.  “I’m always here for you, you know that.”  Hmmm!  Yes I was always ‘there’ physically for her but I wasn’t always ‘available.’

I started to reflect over the last few months.  What I realized was that I engaged with others all day as they chose to move through their lives differently and would connect with them in the evening when I got home.  I know that making changes in our lives isn’t always easy and I made myself available so that they would never have to be alone.  Quite gracious of me, however I’m not sure if it was a good thing or a bad thing.  One thing for sure, the awareness was there and presented itself quite clearly.  Now it was up to me to decided what I was going to do with it.

I started by sending out an email to the women in my life that I usually connected with.  I suggested that instead of them calling me at home, that they call and leave a message at my office or send me an email.

Before I knew it, I had created more space in my life not only for my family but for me as well.  I had started to get exhausted by never stopping long enough to catch my breath.  (What a metaphor.  I was getting to a point where eventually I wouldn’t be able to breath).

So Meagan was clear that I wasn’t always ‘there’ and now that was changing.

I’ve started to create more and more space for myself and for my family.  I love what I do and I love being there for others but…not at the sake of my own health or family.  I was physically becoming exhausted and couldn’t possibly imagine why, until Meagan shared her thoughts with me.

How easy is it for us to become so absorbed in the things that we love so much?  So easy, that I didn’t even see it for myself until my daughter pointed it out.

Our children are so wise and yet we sometimes dismiss what they have to say because, “How could they possibly know what it’s like to be an adult?”  Truth be told, they don’t know what it’s like to be an adult.   They do however know what it’s like to be a child of an adult that is so submersed in what they do that they don’t stop long enough to notice they’re not present to their children when they’re at home.

Hmmmm, parenting I tell you isn’t always easy.  What I do know, is that we need to listen to our children and really consider what they have to share with us.

Most certainly, children don’t know what it’s like to be an adult nor do we know what it’s like for them to be our children.

Thanks to Meagan, I listen differently and now make more time for myself and for her.  Everything has changed in my life because I stopped to consider what her words really meant for me.

Have a wonderful parenting day…whether you’re a parent or not…there’s lots to learn if we stop long enough to consider…

What else?

And the possibilities are endless.

Amy

Tags: family life, parenting